UAC

This last week I attended the Utah Adoption Conference.  It was so nice to just sit and listen and absorb all the great information.  And I got CEU's.  Bonus!  I've always loved conferences but I've had to use an assistive listening device for the last 5 years or so to get anything out of them.  Now that I'm doing so well in situations like that, I do not need an ALD.  I still sit near the front and I still focus on the speaker's face so I can lip read but the volume of the speakers voice is usually enough.  I listened to about 8 different speakers and did excellent with 7 of them.  One not so much but my coworkers got all the info so I can glean from them.  It's just so nice to sit and listen without having to work as hard to hear.  However, I'm still so far from hearing if noise is introduced.  During one of the conference sessions, a row of DCFS workers sat behind me and they became disruptive about half way through the session.  They laughed and joked and made fun of the speaker.  It was all very unprofessional and very rude.  And I couldn't figure out how to make my brain silence them and continue to focus on the speaker.  Looking back, I wish I would have just turned around and put them in their place.  In the moment, I was using all my energy to try to understand the speaker.  I am really looking forward to getting my second CI.  I think that is what I need to be able to do well in noisy situations.  The CI team submitted the request to my insurance last week I think.  So in two to three weeks, we anticipate an answer and then will work on an appeal (we are assuming the request will be denied).

Loss

I had a miscarriage this week.  I was ten weeks pregnant.  What's ironic is that for the last couple of months I have been marvelling how pregnancy has not caused more hearing loss.  I've been amazed that my hearing has not been affected at all by the hormonal shifts.  What I did not realize is that loss was happening but it was loss of the baby, not loss of hearing.  No matter what kind of loss, there is great meaning to be found in it.  Suffering without purpose is just suffering.  Suffering with purpose is meaningful.  I have great trust in my Heavenly Father and know He will help me use this loss to make me more worthy of His kingdom.  If there is a silver lining to be found it is that I have been reminded of how much He loves me.  And a huge blessing as I've gone through all the procedures is that I've been able to hear all the medical staff, even with their masks on, meaning I haven't needed to read their lips.  What a blessing.  I appreciate all of you who have been praying for me this week.  I have felt those prayers.

The Lorax

Have any of you seen a movie lately?  The sound system in the Cinemark today was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!  I couldn't believe it.  It's my first movie with a CI.  I fell in love with the theater today.  Movies didn't do much for me before.  But wow oh wow, I want to go see another one.  The sound was full and rich and deep and just WOW!  Took the kids to see The Lorax and I was just blown away the second the sound started.  And what I was not able to hear I was able to catch with my handy dandy captiview caption device that I can now use for ANY movie at ANY Cinemark.  I LOVE technology!

3 Months Post Activation

I had these plans to write an anniversary post on April 5, which marked 3 months since activation.  But the kids and I got so sick!  Everything got off track.  Today is Easter and we barely got our act together to color some eggs and fill the baskets last night.  I think though we are starting to be on the mend.

So...back to my point.  I wanted to make note of how I am hearing 3 months out.  My friend came over tonight and she was amazed I heard Aleah from across the room say "when I wake up I want a vitamin."  Overall I am doing AWESOME!  When I sit and think about the miracles that have lined up for me, I get overwhelmed with gratitude.

My 3's list:

My 3 favorite sounds-- Listening to the kids breathe, the chime notifications on my phone, and the sounds of cooking.

My 3 favorite hearing moments-- Catching Evan ordering an expensive meal from the drivethrough when we had planned to just order from the value menu (it was hillarious when I caught him too, he still can't believe I heard that), my daughter calling me from her bedroom with me responding and answering her question naturally without even realizing a miracle had just taken place, and hearing the comments from the women at church when I taught for the first time without my assistive listening device on.

My 3 biggest surprises-- Already not needing my extra assistive listening devices, catching some words on television without captioning and how quickly I am gaining confidence in social settings.

My 3 hardest hearing environments-- The phone, any place that has noise (though I can now hear okay when it's just my kids making their normal noise) and doctor's offices (with no carpet to absorb sound, it's like a bouncing echo nightmare in those little offices).  My Audi and therapist think that with practice and map tweaking I can do all these areas one day but they think the 2nd implant is what will make the biggest difference here.

The 3 words I would use to describe my CI journey thus far-- Hard, Miraculous and Healing.