Friday, April 20, 2012

Loss

I had a miscarriage this week.  I was ten weeks pregnant.  What's ironic is that for the last couple of months I have been marvelling how pregnancy has not caused more hearing loss.  I've been amazed that my hearing has not been affected at all by the hormonal shifts.  What I did not realize is that loss was happening but it was loss of the baby, not loss of hearing.  No matter what kind of loss, there is great meaning to be found in it.  Suffering without purpose is just suffering.  Suffering with purpose is meaningful.  I have great trust in my Heavenly Father and know He will help me use this loss to make me more worthy of His kingdom.  If there is a silver lining to be found it is that I have been reminded of how much He loves me.  And a huge blessing as I've gone through all the procedures is that I've been able to hear all the medical staff, even with their masks on, meaning I haven't needed to read their lips.  What a blessing.  I appreciate all of you who have been praying for me this week.  I have felt those prayers.

3 comments:

Etts a Beautiful Life said...

Kristel, I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how positive you stay, it is still a loss and I feel that for you. I won't diminish your feelings by saying I know what you are going through, but I can say I have gone through the same thing. I'm sorry, but if anyone can get through something like this, it is you. Thinking of you...

Steve and Jen said...

Thinking of you! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Lucky to be the mom said...

Amen! Loss is just hard! Hindsight can bring great peace and learning. I so understand and I'm so sorry for you and your family. Anticipating a baby and then making that mental shift is such a lot of emotion to process.
We love you!