Comfort Audio Contego

This little device is my LIFESAVER. It's seriously the ONLY thing allowing me to work right now. It amplifies sound enough that I can hear in meetings, hear clients and hear other staff members. For some reason, all the staff I work with have super quiet voices. Must be the field or something. If you can only talk softly, become a social worker! The device is also helpful in talking with Evan. He doesn't have to repeat himself 100 times and I don't have to spend 350% of all my energy focusing on his face trying to lip read, hear, and cognitively fill in missing blanks. I need to use it more often with him though. I forget at home, we get used to our ways I guess. But at work, I won't walk into the building without it on, it's totally my crutch now. Love technology! I'm so, so, so hoping my new hearing aids will help me hear better with just aids and not additional devices.

Marriage

My ever patient husband feels bad we can't have normal conversations. So do I. He keeps saying my hearing loss doesn't bother him, that he expects it. Seriously, he is so patient and he will repeat something 10 times if needs be. I hate that he has to deal with it constantly. One day honey, we'll converse without effort, one day!

Isolation

Tonight I went to a family gathering with the kiddies. First of all, I'm crazy to go anywhere with two kids under two. What was I thinking? Pure chaos. When I wasn't chasing kids or calming tantrums, I was trying to join in on the adult conversation. Why do I try?!!! I would rejoin the group, try to figure out who was talking then stare hard at them trying to figure out what they were talking about. Someone else would comment and I would shift attention to the comment to try and fill in the conversation holes. Main speaker starts talking again, I shift back to her. Still trying to figure out the topic, let alone what she's saying about the topic. Someone notices I'm not getting it and try to help me. But they are talking while other conversations are happening and a bunch of kids are running around. I still have no idea what is being said. I just fake it and act like I'm understanding...... again!

It would have been easier to stay home. I certainly did not gain anything from going. Should I just avoid all gatherings? Of course not. But oh, I so want to!

Today I Wish

That I could hear YouTube.