Internet relay

I hate it.  How is it that technology exists that allows deaf people to hear but not to effectively caption their phone conversations?  I hate relay.  Here's an example of a relay call (now, remember, it's one sided, you can't read my part of the conversation only the other persons):

Operator#xxxxx
(cough) (speaker unclear) birth party  I'm aligned with you.  Do the math.  Place it just wondering where we are at.

Anyone want to interpret that for me?

What on earth do we have relay for if that's the quality of relay??  Grrrrr

Ok, it's not always that bad.  But 9 out of 10 phone calls I have to make, I walk away saying "I hate relay."  I'm so desperate to do better on the phone without relay.  I so envy a hearing person who just picks up their phone, puts it next to their ear and says "hello?"

This is what I do if it's a call I have to make.  I get on the internet.  Sign in to relay.  Hook up my Clear Sounds neckloop to my phone.  Turn it on.  Turn my CI telecoil on.  Turn my hearing aid telecoil on. Enter in the number I want to call on relay.  Wait for relay to call my phone.  Answer it.  Wait for relay to call and connect with the person I am calling.  Start talking slowly, giving the operator the chance to start typing, explain I am using relay.  Slowing the person down if they are talking too fast.  Asking them to repeat something or asking them a random question or stalling on something I am explaining to give the operator a chance to catch up.  Try and understand the words I am hearing while relying on relay to get what I miss, just to realize that relay is still three sentences behind what the person is saying.  The person asks me a question.  I know this not because I hear the question but because our voices change when we ask a question.  I've memorized the change.  And then of course there is a pause.  I usually respond with "hang on, just waiting for relay to catch up."  And then I answer their question.  About half of the time relay put the question in wrong.  So I wait again for the question to be clarified.  I try to answer again, hoping that I gave a satisfactory answer and they will continue to talk.  So that I can not have the pressure of answering a question.  And then I restate.  "Ok, so what I'm understand you say is ......" or "just want to make sure I caught that, you are asking me to do......"  And then the whole process starts over again!  And I get confirmation I got it right, or I am corrected or worse.  The worse is when someone repeats themselves again and I have to wait for relay and then I realize they said again the same thing I thought I understood.  Then I have to figure out if they were just simply repeating.  Or if relay got it wrong both time.  Whew.  I'm getting anxious just typing this.  By the time I am done with the phone call, my anxiety levels have skyrocketed and it takes me a few minutes to get my breathing back in check. Then, if it's work related, I then will send a follow up email or text to make sure I got the conversation right.  Is it any surprise that I have paired anxiety and the telephone in my brain?

If Evan happens to be near me when I am on the phone, he can't stand it.  He'll leave the room or else try to take over the phone conversation.  Because what he can accomplish in a 2 minute phone conversation takes me at least 15 minutes.

Now all that being said, the benefit with relay is the whole conversation is saved.  I can then go back and read it in it's entirety and almost always catch on to what I missed because it's in the context of the whole conversation not individual sentences.  And I have become super woman skilled at comprehending speech when I understand context.  And there are some voices that are getting easier for me to follow so that's definitely a bonus.

I have a caption call phone that is supposed to be more effective than internet relay.  But the phone won't work unless you have a land line and high speed internet.  We have a land line for Evan's business.  It just so happens that the company our landline is through does not support the data transfer that goes into the caption call phone.  There are two other companies we could go with.  One has chosen not to cover our street.  At all.  The other costs almost $100 a month.  For a landline????  Please you can get a cell phone plan for cheaper than that.

You know what my manager does if she needs to talk with me?  She sends me a text and says "hey Kristel, can you jump on msn or gchat?"  Way more effective!!!  My sister in law, Jenna, said that texting was invented just for me.  Though I am pretty certain other people benefit from texting, I can't help but shout praises that texting was invented during my lifetime.

Alright, I'm done with my rant.  I think I'm just tired and have had a super long week with a ridiculous amount of phone calls.  Including one that ended just a bit ago about 11:30 pm.  So now I'm going to bed and tomorrow when I wake up I'll be grateful for what I do get out of relay.