Confidence Restored

Today was my Post-op follow up with the surgeon.  I am very happy with the way it went!  We took the doctor's whole morning talking about lots of things, including what happened in surgery.  And the end result is that both Evan and I again feel this was the right doctor for me.  We think as he continues to gain experience, he will be absolutely fantastic.

Basically, there was a very high chance I would have left that OR without an implant.  Dr acknolwedged that the problem was he did not make the hole big enough in the cochlea as he was trying to do the "soft approach" which means he was trying to preserve my hearing.  He said he made the hole 5 millimeters.  I just looked that up.  It's .019 of an inch.  When he put the first implant in, it started to go in but he met resistance.  He said that if you meet resistance, you have to stop.  And once you start to put an implant in, taking it out damages it due to the wire in the electrode array.  Apparently you take the wire out as you insert it but can't put the wire back in.  All very interesting things to learn.  So anyways because it started to go in, he thought it was a problem with the device.  So he tried the second one.  It wouldn't go in at all.  That's when he knew he would have to make the hole bigger.  So he made the hole 1 millimeters big.  Which is .039 of an inch.  Who on earth came up with this device??  Gotta research that one.  This is crazy stuff to insert a device through such small openings!  Anyways, the 3rd device went in wonderfully.

The Dr talked about his feelings in the OR (which I eat up cuz after all I am a therapist and always feel more comfortable with a person if I know how they are feeling :).  He was supremely frustrated with himself for not figuring out the hole was too small after the first implant.  I love that he admitted this.  And I think that's why when he went to speak with Evan, he was shaky.  He told me to ask the Audi, when I see her next week, about how he was feeling.  She was in surgery with him the whole time.  He said she commented "Well, I am glad you kept being diligent."  I don't know if he wanted to give up, but I wonder how many surgeons would try again?  He tried again and of course everyone knows that worked well.

He also said he's gone over it and over it in his head and on paper.  He talked about what he learned and totally validated my feelings when I expressed how I was feeling about it.  I am mourning that 2nd implant a little bit but I truly do think everything happened as it needed to.  My time for the 2nd implant will come.  I need to focus on healing and hearing with the first!

We also talked about the facial nerve and the taste nerve and how close they are together and how he has to drill in between these two nerves.  That caused a little complication as the space between mine is very narrow and he was super concerned about the nerves.  He was also concerned about my inner ear causing balance issues, especially with 3 tries of an implant.  There was a super, super high risk of my inner ear being damaged, causing vertigo.  When I told him I haven't been dizzy at all, he was very relieved. 

Random side note, but I'll bring it back, don't you worry.  I remember when an airline (Jetblue I think) had problems with their landing gear.  They weren't able to land properly.  But the pilot still skillfully landed that plane and everyone was safe.  Lots of people said they didn't want to fly that airline after that because of the damaged landing wheels could mean a bigger problem with the planes.  But one of my dearest friends said "I am always going to fly Jetblue now.  I want an airline that can handle equipment and technical problems, because of course they are going to happen!"

I've thought a lot about that pilot landing that plane.  I agree with my friend.  I would want a pilot skilled in handling issues as they arise over a plane that seems to be perfect but has a pilot unskilled in equipment issues.

That's how I feel about my surgeon.  He tried 3 devices but did not damage my inner ear.  He had a very narrow space to work with in between nerves but did not damage or negatively affect either one.  I feel like he is skilled and that he can handle issues as they arise.  I would prefer a surgeon who takes the time to know me and work in my behalf (remember he called my insurance company) as well as not give up in the operating room over a surgeon who has done 500 implants and doesn't give me the time of day.  So all in all, we are happy.

Now......8 more days until activation!  Bring on the shrill voices, beeps and electronic noise!  And by the way, I am feeling better.  Still can't handle the demands of my toddlers (as was proven just today) for longer than an hour or so.  But this will get better.  Dr told me to not do a thing for 2 weeks.  That's hard to do when you have young kids!