CRAZY

This experience is CrAzY!  Honestly, I thought I was prepared.  But I just didn't get it.  I didn't get that I would be able to hear awesomely well right from the beginning but have no clarity in voice.  So when I talk to the "professionals" about how hard voices are, they basically all say the same thing.  "Everyone's experience is very different and it's a very wide spectrum."  Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but wherever I am on the spectrum (they call me "normal"), let me just say it's cRaZy!  I need lots of validation these days!  I have so much respect for others who have gone before me who have truly been able to train their brains in this CrAzY.

I had my 3rd map today.  I'm much happier with the results of this map than the 2nd one.  I feel like I backtracked with the 2nd map but then slowly started doing better than the 1st map.  Today, I do not feel like I have backtracked.  The audi's did a more refined map so it was a bit different than the last two.  At first, I had to count beeps like before.  But when they turned it on after than, they sounded like they were talking through a tunnel.  So they changed strategies.  There are 22 electrodes in my implant.  22 electrodes stimulating my cochlea.  I'm still in awe over this technology.  Anyways, for each of the electrodes they did a balance test.  So I listened to three tones and had to give them feedback on the loudness levels of each of the tones.  The goal was to make all 3 tones the same volume.  So I would respond with something like "the first and third tone had the same volume but the second was way softer."  They would adjust and do it again.  We did this again and again and again.  Until all the tones sounded similar in volume.  Then they turned it on again.  Their voices sounded hollow.  They did a quick little switch somewhere and turned it on once again.  Ahhh.  Better.  Not fully human.  But better.  The weird thing though is that some of the high pitches now cause my brain to vibrate.  Apparently these high pitches my brain has not heard (or at least hasn't heard for most of my life) and so my brain doesn't know what to do with them.  Instead of recognizing it as sound, my brain is categorizing it as throbbing.  Unfortunately, the pitches that cause throbbing are the super high frequency ones.  Well guess what frequency I am surrounded in all day.  Yep, my kiddos.  So I got home from my mapping and my brain vibrated for 3 straight hours until their bed time.  I think I looked at the clock every 3 seconds, willing it to turn faster so I could put them in bed!

Now that the boring stuff has been discussed, I'll talk about the GOOD stuff.  While in the store on the way home, I could tell that two people were having a discussion.  They were not anywhere near me.  I had to search to find them.  They were behind me and several feet away.  I couldn't understand what they were saying but I could identify who had which voice and could also identify when the other person started talking.  Whoo hoo!  I can not wait until I can eavesdrop!!!!!!!!!

Also, tonight Evan was wringing his hands to get excess water off of them.  I heard that excess water splat in the sink!!!  CrAzY!  While tucking in my daughter for the night, I heard this strange noise and couldn't figure out where it was coming from.  It was from her stuffed animal dog.  I knew it moved but I did not know it made noise when it moved. 

Oh, one more thing!  My other programs have been installed!  Finally!  Now I can control noise in the background (maybe?) and can practice listening to music (hopefully?).  It's a happy (though head-achy) day!